School's Out!...Almost.

Over the past week or so I haven't had the time to write anything for Zombie Baby Nursery. This makes me sad. I kind of think of Zombie Baby as being like my virtual garden. If I don't kept tending to it, it will be overrun by weeds 'n stuff (metaphorically speaking). It's the Animal Crossing principle. Leave your town for too long and upon your return you'll be greeted by a proliferation of weeds and pissed off anthropomorphic animals.

...know what I'm saying?

Anyway, the reason I'm posting this right now is just to let you guys and gals know that I haven't abandoned my Zombie Baby. I have merely been busy wasting away under the fluorescent lights of higher education classrooms. Don't get me wrong, school's cool and all, but it's a major time suck at the same time.

But all that's gonna end when my summer session ends on August 1st. I'm already planning out all the random stuff I want to write about when I get the time to do it. If all goes according to my master plan you can expect a horde of posts to descend upon Zombie Baby Nursery come August.

'Til then I've got more important things to do than write about the coolness of John Kramer or the perversity of Lickitung (for example). So on that note, I shall leave you so that I can do said "more important things". I just wanted to quickly check in and let you guys know that I am indeed "not dead yet".

Ciao. I look forward to reuniting with you and Mr. Tom Nook in August.

Sweeter Than "Hunny": Winnie the Pooh (2011)

Harry Potter 7.2 might have been the biggest movie to hit theaters last Friday, but Winnie the Pooh was the one I was most excited for. I like Harry and I have fond memories of seeing the Harry Potter movies in theaters, but it's a big epic summer movie. I like big epic summer movies, but I've already seen a handful this summer and one can only consume epic in small doses lest it loses its epic quality. On the other hand, the Winnie the Pooh trailer promised the antithesis of the big epic summer movie. The music was soft, the conflicts were simple, and the humor was gentle. The trailer and marketing of Pooh also played heavily off of the presumed nostalgia that many adults have for Pooh and pals. Being that I spent a significant amount of time in my youth watching Winnie the Pooh VHS tapes, I totally fell for the nostalgia angle and skipped out on Potter to see Pooh on opening weekend.

My expectations for Pooh were set at a minimum. I wanted to be reunited with characters from my younger days and to hang out in the Hundred Acre Wood one more time. That was pretty much it. Going into Winnie the Pooh I was fully ready to slog through a mediocre story if it meant that I could spend an hour or so basking in the golden glow of nostalgia and cuteness that the franchise represents to me.

So needless to say I was extremely pleasantly surprised to find myself laughing out loud throughout the majority of the film. Yeah, Pooh Bear is adorable as expected, but what shocked me about the movie was how funny it managed to be. The story works to create situations where the characters' personalities are allowed to play against each other to hilarious effect. The characters' facial expressions are expertly animated, which significantly adds to the humor of the different situations. I don't want to give anything away or spoil any of the jokes for you, but I will say that Rabbit's thinly veiled frustration (as perfectly illustrated on his face) acted as an awesome laugh-out-loud punchline to one of the best jokes in the movie.

Of course, one of the reasons the humor is so potent is that the characters are so well-developed. Obviously I can't credit this 2011 Winnie the Pooh with creating these characters, as the audience's familiarity with the population of the Hundred Acre Wood has had decades to strengthen and develop. Still, kudos to Disney for both sticking true to these classic characters and for allowing them to freely interact with one another in this new Pooh outing. I especially appreciated the bigger part that Christopher Robin and Owl played in this installment in the series. These were two characters that, as a kid, I often felt were a bit underdeveloped. In this new movie though, these two really get a chance to shine.

The only thing that keeps me from telling every soul I come across to run and see Pooh is its slim run time. Sadly, Pooh is just barely an hour long. While it's a pretty rock solid hour of entertainment, it's still asking the general populace a lot to plop down ten dollars to see such a short feature. For those who can afford it, however, 2011's Winnie the Pooh is a sweet, nostalgic, and shockingly funny romp through the beloved Hundred Acre Wood.

Is Harry Potter the New Star Wars?

The final installment in the Harry Potter series arrived in theaters last Friday to much fanfare. I haven't seen the film. I plan to eventually, but I'm waiting 'til the crowds die down. In the meantime I have casually been reading some of the Harry Potter related reviews, essays, and articles that have been flooding the Internet as of late. One phrase that I have encountered in multiple articles is "Harry Potter is this generation's Star Wars!" This is that type of phrase that journalists love to throw around, so it's no surprise to see it pop up, but it still initially bothered me slightly.

I think the main reason this phrase got under my skin was my own personal associations with both franchises. Based on my date of birth I should be more into levitation spells than Jedi mindtricks, but in reality few things are closer to my heart than the Star Wars saga. Don't get me wrong I like Harry Potter, but it doesn't resonate with me quite as deeply as Star Wars does. When I initially read the Harry Potter/Star Wars comparisons I was bothered because they didn't gel with my own personal worldview. In other words, this isn't how I experienced life so therefore you are wrong.

Once I got past my initial emotional reaction I had to grudgingly admit that there was some validity to the Potter/Wars comparison. Both have orphaned male protagonists (Harry/Luke) who grow up "dreaming of better things". They are rescued by wise mentor figures with cool gray beards (Dumbledore/Obi-Wan), and are swept away from their drab lives and into worlds filled with adventure and conquest. I could go on, but I'm sure you can draw the rest of the comparisons yourself. The point is that the two franchises do share a lot in common in regards to surface plot details.

Beyond the surface I will say that I think the two franchises resonated with audiences for similar reasons. Both Star Wars and Harry Potter feature some amazing caricatures of real world situations and personality types. The Mos Eisley Cantina is a spot-on representation of a real world dive bar, complete with its "we don't serve your kind here" attitude and oddball patrons. Similarly there are many older schools that exude Hogwarts. In this way I think both the Harry Potter and Star Wars movies function in similar ways as they both give the general public a mass of useful references that can be used to enrich conversations. Saying someone has hair like Hermione Granger immediately brings an image to mind that simple description does not. In years to come I will not be surprised if Harry Potter is referenced with the same frequency as Star Wars.

To be fair though, I am generally wary of X is the new Y conversations and while I concede that Harry Potter and Star Wars have similar narratives and similar appeal, the two franchises differ in some pretty big ways. For one, we can't ignore that Harry Potter was initially a book series. This automatically significantly alters the way that current Harry Potter fans will look back on their fandom vs. how older Star Wars fans remember their exposure to the series. The fact that the Harry Potter book series was a triumph in a dying children's book industry will also significantly change the way the series is remembered.

Harry Potter and Star Wars are worth comparing, but ultimately they're different beasts. Though if we absolutely must compare the two I'd like to say for the record that as great as Harry Potter is, it will never have anything on the pure poetry of Luke looking off into the twin sunset of Tatooine in A New Hope. And that's my proudly biased opinion talking.

Saw: The John Kramer Years

John's just an old cancer stricken man with a strong sense of right and wrong. His hobbies include puppetry, mentoring the younger generation, and capturing civilians and forcing them to fight for their lives. He's like an especially sadistic version of the grumpy old dude who rants about "kids these days" and the moral decline of modern civilization (aka "Damn hippies!"). Thanks to a particularly calm, collected, and conniving portrayal by actor Tobin Bell, Jigsaw's presence dominated the first three Saw films. He was a elderly badass who wore D&D-esque robes and gave grand raspy voiced proclamations about appreciating the value of life ("Those who do not appreciate life do not deserve life.")

Tragically, for reasons beyond my comprehension, the people behind the Saw mythos decided to kill Jigsaw off in the third installment in the series. To be fair the ending of Saw III is a pretty spectacular spectacle of over-blown emotions and bloodshed, but you still don't kill off the bread and bloody butter of your series only three movies in. That's like slapping Johnny Kramer in the face. Yeah, Jigsaw still gets to remain a big part of the subsequent Saw sequels thanks to their excessive use of flashbacks. It's still not the same.

Don't let my geeky bitching give you the wrong impression. I only complain because I care. I think Jigsaw's a cool guy and a horror icon for the ages. Last weekend I was reminiscing to myself about the coolness that is John Kramer when I decided to revisit Saw I-III on DVD. Follow me, if you will, down memory lane as I revisit the first three films in the Saw franchise.

Saw (2004)
The first Saw is, from my point of view, a pretty rock solid low-budget horror pic. It's not totally unique. The complex, themed kills that the plot of Saw revolves around felt reminiscent of those in films such as Seven, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, and Cube (all three of which were released years or even decades before Saw). That's not to say that I think Saw is derivative, but merely that it's not going to bowl anyone over with its overarching premise. What Saw does contain, however, is a great setting (a grungy old bathroom, which one character describes as "an actual shithole"), some iconic imagery (see the "reverse bear trap" headgear on the poster), and the establishment of a spectacular villain. Though John Kramer doesn't get much screen time in this initial installment, we do get a quick, but thorough intro to what he's all about. Namely we learn about his eccentric brand of morality and his love of puppetry (Billy the puppet makes his own screen debut, via tricycle, in this film). This first Saw also contains some of the most sympathetic and interesting victims in the series. It is in this film that we are introduced to Amanda, the lone survivor of Jigsaw's traps who will become a reoccurring character in the series. The two main victims of the film, a doctor and a punk kid, spend most of their time locked in a room together. Their banter is humorous and entertaining, and their back stories intersect in a rather clever way. Saw's no horror masterpiece, but it is still highly entertaining and clever movie.

Saw II (2005)
Saw II totally falls into that disappointing sequel camp. It's not awful, but it's astonishingly mediocre. Whereas the victims in Saw #1 had a bit of sass and soul about them, the majority of the characters in Saw II are bottom of the barrel cliches (the macho meathead, the hysterical woman, the troubled teen, etc.) There are two things that save Saw II from being a boring waste of time: 1. more Jigsaw screen time and 2. the pit o' syringes trap. Jigsaw's on fire in this movie. He sips water daintily from a straw, delivers a lame reference to Last House on the Left, wears the aforementioned D&D robes, and still somehow manages to convey a sense of menace and intimidation on screen. As previously stated I credit actor Tobin Bell for the greatness that is Jigsaw. According to an interview with Saw II director Darren Lynn Bousman in The New Horror Handbook, Tobin Bell improvised the majority of his lines and kept a notebook detailing the philosophy of Jigsaw. Awesome. Regarding the giant pit filled with syringes, I just think its a brilliant image. Somebody flailing about in a hole filled with needles equals a cool visual moment in my book.

Saw III (2006)
Saw III ups the epic level of the series. Everything in this film is done on a grander scale than anything in the two previous films. This isn't necessarily a good thing. Occasionally the story of Saw III felt a bit too ambitious for its own good and the pacing sometimes suffered as a result. Still, the twisted, conflicting storylines and hyped up emotion of Saw III matched well with the film's excessive bloodshed. And the ending, when all the characters come together, is pretty spectacular. They just shouldn't have killed off Jigsaw. Seriously.

Monster Throwdown: Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II

Back when I was a young pup full of piss and vinegar I started this blog with the idea that it would be about monster movies exclusively. I think it took about two posts for me to drop that idea and adopt the "anything goes" approach to blogging that dominates Zombie Baby Nursery today. This free form approach allows me to write about a massive range of topics and I like that. That said, there will always be monster movies in my life in one form or another, and monster movies shall always have a place on this blog.

With that in mind, I'd like to take some time today to talk about a little movie called Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, a blast from almost two decades past. Mechagodzilla II (released in Japan as simply Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla) is a 1993 kaiju pic starring three big name beasts: Godzilla, Rodan, and Mechagodzilla. I watched it today for three reasons: I needed to kill some time, I was in the mood for some Godzilla, and I was feeling slightly nostalgic. Since Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II fit all three of these moods/requirements I popped it into the DVD player with hardly a second thought.

I probably first saw Mechagodzilla II when I was about nine or ten. It was never my favorite Godzilla movie as a kid, but I guess I liked it enough that, as I was combing through DVDs today, my nostalgia trigger went off when I stumbled across this title. As a kid my favorite Godzilla foe was King Ghidorah, but I had a solid appreciation for Mechagodzilla. As I grow older, though, I find that this pattern is being reversed. Nowadays I think Ghidorah's cool and all, but I find myself being drawn to the movies where Mechagodzilla puts in an appearance. One of the things about Mechagodzilla that really appeals to me is the whole "evil twin" type of thing. Imagine that your greatest foe was a version of you that shot lasers and didn't bleed. That's so cool, right?

Naturally the premise of organic matter vs. metal is the perfect framework on which to hang a story about environmentalism and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II does just that. By the time the movie is ending and the human characters have realized how truly foolish they were to have thought they could alter the course of nature, you'll be thinking that Jim Cameron's Avatar was subtle by comparison. Despite the bluntness of the film's environmentalist spin, Mechagodzilla II's story is pretty decent. The primary human characters are more likeable here than is typical for a Godzilla film. Two characters flirting over a giant dinosaur egg is simultaneously bizarre, cheesy and endearing. Most of the human parts are thankfully kept fairly comedic and light, and they serve the purpose of advancing the story and keeping the viewer from nodding off between kaiju sightings. Don't get me wrong, we're not talking Oscar worthy writing/acting here, but the people populated portions of Mechagodzilla II still get the job done in a B+ sort of way.

Of course monster brawls and destruction are the real reasons to seek out a Godzilla flick, and Mechagodzilla II does solidly well in this regard. The battles here are real energetic affairs with all parties getting bruised significantly in the process. The action starts up quickly, as shortly into the film Rodan goes ballistic on Godzilla which results in an epic monster scuffle. The fights in Mechagodzilla II are notably more visceral than typical Godzilla brawls. Blood and spit are occasionally splashed across the screen and dribbled down monster suits. Little Baby Godzilla even sheds a few tears at the end of the film. While all this monster bodily fluid could have been weird if used in massive quantities, it was done just sparingly enough to grab the viewer's attention.

Let me back up for just a second to talk about the aforementioned Baby Godzilla. Baby Godzilla hatches out of a giant egg and is a combination of adorable and terrifying. Just take a look at that picture. Baby's obviously supposed to be the gooey heartwarming center of the movie, but I honestly don't know what to think about him. My reactions to Baby varied from "Aww, he's so cute" to "Eww, he's so deformed" for the majority of the film. At the end of the movie I think I was mostly on Baby's side, but I'll need to give the movie another go before I've made up my mind on this matter.

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II isn't the best Godzilla film out there. It's probably not even top five material. It's not bad though. Throughout the entire hour and forty five minutes of Mechagodzilla II there weren't two consecutive minutes that bored me. If you're a Godzilla newbie you should start at the very beginning and check out the Gojira (1954), but those who are already converted 'Zilla fans could do worse than to spend an afternoon with Mechagodzilla II.

A Very Brief Review of the Life and Career of Gloria Stuart

In my last post, while in the midst of deconstructing the horrors of modern society (aka Facebook), I briefly mentioned a woman by the name of Gloria Stuart. When I was writing the last post I threw in a link to her Wikipedia page just because I figured most denizens of the Internet would have no idea who Stuart actually was. Well, for those of you too lazy to check Wikipedia, let me clue you in: Gloria played the old lady in the Titanic. This is how most of you are going to recognize her. She was the oldest person ever nominated for an Oscar and, though she didn't win, she set an age record and got a good story out of it. Her experiences with Titanic led to her writing and publishing a memoir of her experiences in 1999.

Gloria's memoir, entitled I Just Kept Hoping, is a breezy, slightly random read that covers topics as diverse as Kate Winslet's fashion choices ("I know this is the way the young women of her generation dress, simple, easy, inelegant.") to Stuart's, uh, hobbies ("I am devoted to masturbation. I think it's probably one of the most pleasurable things in my life.") While it's as fluffy as fluff can be, Stuart's bio is worth reading for those who think that 336 pages of an obscure actress rambling about random crap is the most awesome thing ever (in other words, this book was written for people like moi).

What really makes Gloria Stuart conversation fodder for this site, though, is not her outspoken love of masturbation, but rather her roles in the 1930's James Whale films The Old Dark House and The Invisible Man. The Old Dark House is an eccentric horror comedy about some normals who seek shelter in a run down mansion owned by a bizarre family. Gloria plays one of the aforementioned normals. Those really interested in Stuart should track down the DVD (available via Netflix) to listen to her audio commentary, where she discusses her inconsistent accent which was criticized by the press!

The Old Dark House is an entertaining, if very strange, romp. The Invisible Man, though, is much more accessible and entertaining to a modern audience. In The Invisible Man Gloria plays the title character's gf. It is a bit of a shocker for the modern audience to see old Rose from Titanic as the young, pretty love interest. I mean no offense to Gloria, as we all gotta get old (or just die before our time, which doubly sucks), and Gloria did age with grace and sass. It's still just kind of strange and cool to see just how long Gloria has been in the game.

On a final note, I feel as though I cannot write a post about Gloria without mentioning the fact that she died a little less than a year ago. She was 100 years old. Which, you have to admit, is pretty impressive. It also means that she got thirteen years to bask in the afterglow of her Oscar nom. Not bad indeed.