And now don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily complaining. I feel like the media loves to portray the post grad experience as one of angst plied on top of angst, but I haven't necessarily felt this way. No, no, my experience has been more comprised of highs and lows. In the high points I feel a sense of freedom and possibility that I never had when I was still toiling away in the confined hallways of academia. The lows come from a sense of directionless. While the promise of freedom is great, I can't help but sometimes feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of options and opportunities out there. And truthfully I am often frustrated that there are so many opportunities out there and yet I'm still rotting away in the dungeon known as suburban America. I often feel like Luke in A New Hope, wistfully watching the two suns set over Tatooine as the rest of the galaxy passes me by. Now I know it is childish to think that everyone else in the world is out having a blast whilst I'm stuck rotting away in the hills of PA, but it's how I feel sometimes, y'know?
So with that last paragraph taken into account, it will surprise no one when I say that one of the things I have struggled with the most post-college is fighting that overwhelming and crushing sense of boredom that comes from having a lot of energy and no idea of what I should be funneling this energy into. There is one thing that I have found that can sooth this chronic existential boredom that I feel on a daily basis and this magical cure all is film. My friend El Lobo (whom has been a great resource and sounding board for me as I've attempted to navigate through the emotional minefield of post-graduate life), recently wrote a post about how Madonna songs have helped him to experience a sense of joy and pure happiness. Well, I know what he means, but my personal media drug of choice is more The Texas Chainsaw Massacre than "Like A Virgin".
Movies mean a lot of things to me beyond mere entertainment. One of the purposes the medium has taken on in my life recently is that of a wonderful escape from the blandness that surrounds me and exacerbates my crushing sense of boredom. But "escape" isn't really the right word as I feel like a good movie doesn't let me escape my feelings and senses, but rather heightens them. I look to film for a glimpse of situations, characters, and images that make me open my eyes and expand my imagination. For example, I love movies like Tokyo Gore Police, The Machine Girl, and Meatball Machine, not just because these three films happen to posses exquisite senses of humor (though they do each contain a truly unique blend of satire, slapstick, and black comedy that makes me laugh every time), but because beyond their humor they exhibit genuine flashes of true imaginative genius and creativity. No really, as weird as it may sound I feel like a better person for having watched these Japanese splatter flicks as they each contain images that blew my mind open and alerted me to how truly wild and wonderfully unhinged the human imagination could be. Over a year ago I wrote a post on my blog about an uber-bloody and weird Japanese short film, Meatball Machine: Reject of Death. In this post I called watching the short a "transcendent" experience and I totally and unironically believe in that idea. Watching a movie that shows you something you could have never possibly seen or even mentally conceived of prior to a viewing is a truly life-altering experience. When you experience something like this you are basically taking a stroll through someone else's imagination, and what form of human communication could be more moving and life-enriching than this?
I have only touched upon all of the stuff that I wanted to cover in this post, but I'm tired and have written enough for the night. I want to continue expanding upon the ideas I began to form in this post in future writings on this blog, so stay tuned if this kind of stuff appeals to you. But for now...I'm out.
